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Friday, December 29, 2006
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Worth Reading...
It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby 7-11. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm. I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."
Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.
Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.
Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."
We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.
We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.
She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."
With her begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave. She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago. If I remember it right, it said, "Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember this day, always loving each other, forever." She was looking around for quite a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.
She said, "Chris, I can't find it, it's not there anymore."
I felt so sour inside, there was a stream of pain, flowing into my heart, the kind of pain I've never felt before. But all I could do was pretend I didn't care, and said, "Can we go now?"
I opened up my big black umbrella, she was just standing there, didn't want to leave yet, hoping there was still a chance. She said, "You made up the story of you and that other girl didn't you? I know I frustrate you sometimes, but I'll change, can't we start over?"
I didn't say a word, just looked down and shook my head. After that we just kept on walking towards the train station, didn't say a word to each other.
Four years ago, the doctor said I had cancer, but it was found early, so it was still curable. Thinking that it was okay, I started living my normal life again, and even forgot about the cancer. I didn't think about the cancer again and did not go back to the doctor. Until a month ago, my stomach was hurting for two weeks straight, and the nightmare awakened me again. First I thought the pain would go away, but it grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray.
The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. I wanted myself and the people around me to go through the least pain possible, so I decided to commit suicide. But I couldn't let people find out about my intentions, especially Susan, the person I love the most in this whole world, who still doesn't know about the truth. Susan was still young, she shouldn't have to go through this. So I made up some stories and lied to her. It was a cruel thing to do, and it broke her heart, but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years's feelings. I didn't have much time, because I would soon start to loose hair and she would find out eventually. But now I'm close to succeeding, this drama would soon be over. Thirty minutes more this would all come to an end, that was what I had in mind.
The train had stopped running so I called a taxi for her. We were just standing there, waiting, loosing our last moments in silence.
I saw the taxi from far away, I held my tears and said to her, "Take care of yourself, take good care of yourself."
She didn't talk, just nodded lightly, and then opened up her misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street. Out in the rain, we became two single life forms, one red, one black, so far away from each other. I opened the door for her and she got in, then I close the door that would separate me from her forever. I stood by the car, staring in the dark window, at the first love in my life, also the last one, walking out of my life. The car started, driving into the street. Finally I couldn't hold my sorrow and the twist in my heart any longer, waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi, because I knew, this would be the last time I see her. I wanted to tell her I still love her, I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her so much, but the taxi had already turned in the corner. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.
She left, and I didn't get anymore of her phone calls even until today. I know she didn't see my tears, because they were washed away by the rain. I left without regrets. But I'm not Chris, I'm that girl Susan, using my memory, and his diary I found after one year since he left, writing down these last words. . .
- JK - by @ at | 6:44 am |
!!!
I'm currently not very happy as there was this lazy bum ... RE DAO WO LE!!!
Haiz.... Aniway i can understand why that lazy bum is tired lah....... Work straight for 14 hours... Who not tired?? And i'm so bad to call lazy bum - lazy bum... =(
Lao niang currently siao Death Note can! Hehee... Watch Death Note 2 with my Sunny Girls on Xmas eve... The next day after i woke up, immediately chiong youtube for Death Note Anime version liao can! Watch until episode 11.... Then can't find episode 12 onwards liao... Is it that it's not out yet har?? SO SAD! I really damn gan cheong to find out what's gona happen next can....... Borrow Death Note 1 from stephie... Watched 2 times on the same day! Guess i'm DN siao liao! LoL~ AND L IS SO CUTE!!! I really can't stand him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tmr going for melbourne.... Sickening boring station again................ JIU MING AHH...................
I WANA WATCH CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWERRRRRRRR....................................
I just can't seem to get enough rest.... What's wrong with me........ What are you thinking!
- JK - by @ at | 4:54 am |
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Thursday, December 28, 2006
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Let the pics do the TALKING!
WELCOME TO COPENHAGEN!!!
There's a thermometer on the building! It's 7 degrees celcius when i'm out during NOON!
Look at the sky! So beautiful! I swear the real thing looks 10x nicer!
A glimpse of TIVOLI PARK
That's HERCULES above me!!
A bicycle in their drain! I took this to show how clear even the drain water is =P And it's like at least 2 to 3 metres deep
My colleagues. Look at the structure behind us... Familiar ehh??
So lucky to witness change of guard
omG~~ Look at the sky can... IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!~~
I tiptoed towards this guard and request to take a pic with him... =P He's so handsome!! I plan to stand close to him n hook his arm one... But he show me his 'ONE ARM AWAY FROM ME' order... =(
Machiam poster can...
JK with the infamous Mermaid of Denmark~
NICE!
A skating ring in the centre of town!
Back at TIVOLI PARK
This looks so magical...
*Close up*
JK with colleague --> KYM
XMAS EVE!
LMM on the phone... Look at the hole on her cheek... She'll have that when she smile...
Pretty JK 1
Pretty JK 2
Pretty JK 3 !!! =PpPPp
Silly Xmas tree by SOO KEE
YY. TM . JK
Look at what we did to poor LMM!!!
YY TM SL (still carrying our stuffs) JK
Pouting JK on top of Tua Bee n YY~
Pretty pinky Xmas tree at Cathay Cinema!~
Our Gifts for xchange! Lousily wrapped up as it's damn last minute thing.
YEH!
- JK - by @ at | 3:52 am |
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Saturday, December 23, 2006
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Counting Down
Back from COpenhagen!!! Will post up my photos soon! HEe~~
Having 3 days off! So happy...
Just came back from a midnite show with Mr H... A Nite In The Museum... Follow by Big Breakfast at MaC~
Nitex! I'm going to sleep liao!
*muaCkx*
- JK - by @ at | 10:31 am |
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Friday, December 08, 2006
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Nihon!
I got called up for another Japan flight on Tues!~ So lucky can... 2 Japan flights in a row... Hee!~~
My colleagues, me, n an Osaka ah pEk. LoL~ in subway...
This time no more Fancl for me even though the shop is just beside my hotel... (Ex can... Lao niang no money) Hahaa.... Seriously i don't find things in Japan as high priced as it's been said to be...
Eg 1. i can have a meal for less than S$10 in an eatery... Or slightly more than S$10 i'll be able to dine in a restaurant in a shopping mall. (Refering to pretty Japanese meals okay)
Eg 2. The hair spray that i've been using by Lucidol... In singapore Watson's is selling at around S$8+ ... However i got it in Osaka for like just 298Yen (S$4.20). pianG! Half price can... So i swept all of them off what's available on the shelf into my basket. =P
(Well... You can say that it's japanese product thus explains the price... I accept loh... But for a big bottle of hairspray at this price? )
Had a very pretty Japanese stewardess on my flight.. She's tall and slim. And when she show me her wedding fotos... omG... She look like a model posing for bridal shops can... So 'wOww' loh... On the way back to singapore she was telling me about Japanese culture... Hahaa... She say Japanese are so strange... If 2 person know each other... They will try to keep a distance from one another... But if they duno each other... They can squeeze like sardines in a train... She say every morning the train is so squeezy that molest case is so common! And everyone is used to being molested everyday... Train rides are so squeezy that there's a part time job for students to push and pack squeeze people into the train every morning (So LoL~ can). So when she came to singapore and she did witness the reaction of girls being molested, she felt so puzzled and strange. And slowly she found out that only Japan is like that... Her father don't even believe it when she told him only Japan is like that.... LoL~~
Tmr meeting my sunny girls again! Hehee....
Are you back from London......?
- JK - by @ at | 6:01 pm |
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Tuesday, December 05, 2006
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Fancl Spree~
Did i mention that i got a sucky roster for December? And i really mean SUCKY / YUCKY / PUKEY ! 1 Dec i was on standby... I'm so so so prepared to get a bloody turnaround flight already........ And guess what? I got a Narita flight! LoL~~ Packed my cargo immediately and prepared to stuff it with my long waited 'Fancl SPREE' !~~ wEee~~ Before i left singapore, checked my roster and they bloody turn my off day into a standby day... TMD~ So 6th Dec i should be doing another bloody turnaround... Thus i expected my standby on 5th Dec to be another bloody standby already... Coz i dun think i'm so lucky wor... And guess what??? I got an Osaka flight! omFG!~~ Hehee..........................!!!!!!!!! I'm thrilled... Although it's not the 8 days flight that i'm hoping for... But still better than those shitty flights can... If don't have means not a single Japan flight... If have means 2 in a rOw~~ Hahaa.... So lucky can! So tmr i'm going to Osaka n shop like siao again!
From Fancl i bought 6 bOxes of TenseUp EX, 4 bottles of Mild Cleansing Oil and a bOttle of Sunscreen~~ Was given a fluffy blanket, 1 small bottle of MCO FOC~~ Heheee.....
Bought 3 Eye Nuance Pallette in 9 colors from Canmake, Dramatical Eyebase, 10 packs of Tong Luo Shao (Doraemon's food), lots of seaweed, and other junk food! Most importantly... Secret gift for moi friend...... =P Coming back to singapore i was so scared that the spectacled uncle will scan mOi cargo bag and make me pay tax! Luckily he's busy with some other people that day.......... LoL~~
It's been a week from Manchester.... I hope time can go back again..... And things shall be different........ I promise... =)
- JK - by @ at | 4:45 am |
